In our busy adult lives, where time feels perpetually squeezed and socializing often revolves around rigid schedules and social media performance, the simple act of spending a night at your friend’s house might seem outlandish. Yet, for a growing number of adults, particularly young women, the sleepover is staging a comeback. It’s not about sugary snacks and cheesy movies as much as it is about reclaiming time for deeper connection with friends in an age where such connections feel increasingly rare.
Take Tonna Obaze, a 28-year-old founder of a consulting firm, who recently found herself longing for her friend Bria’s company beyond the constraints of a typical dinner date. “There were even a couple tears shed where we, as people in our late 20s, our early 30s, have just been yearning to get back to this friendship where you can sit on the couch and eat whatever’s in the fridge, watch a movie, and just catch up with each other with no ending or timing in sight,” she reflects. This sentiment rings true for many who find themselves craving authentic connection beyond fleeting interactions fueled by social media or packed into hurried happy hour windows.
While sleepovers were once a staple of childhood and adolescence, adulthood often shifts our priorities away from unstructured, intimate hangouts with friends. The demands of jobs, families, and even the curated nature of social interactions online make prioritizing these deeper connections difficult. But this shift doesn’t mean our need for them diminishes.
The Allure of Banality
The appeal of the adult sleepover lies in its rejection of performative social norms. Unlike carefully curated dates or image-conscious outings, the sleepover embraces “banal” togetherness— sharing a meal, watching movies, even just existing quietly in each other’s company. As Jeffrey Hall, a professor of communication studies at the University of Kansas, points out, “We’re just there to be with one another, rather than to be more impression-management concerned…or trying to make a good public appearance when you go out to drinks or to go out to dinner.”
This lack of pressure allows for genuine vulnerability and intimacy. It’s in these unguarded moments—trading off skincare routines, commenting on pajamas, or simply falling asleep side by side—that friendships deepen. As Maegan Thompson, a 31-year-old who hosts sleepovers at her Florida home, notes: “The things that you used to be able to bond with other people over when you were younger are the same things you get to bond over when you become an adult.”
Time Well Spent
Perhaps most importantly, sleepovers offer something precious in our fragmented lives: time. A weekend morning breakfast ritual might feel more intimate and meaningful than a hurried coffee catch-up squeezed into a workday lunch break. The extended nature of the sleepover format allows for deeper conversations and experiences that simply can’t happen in short bursts.
Beyond individual friendships, adult sleepovers have the potential to foster strong communities. They create opportunities to reconnect with loved ones, particularly those who live far away, or to cultivate meaningful bonds within a group of friends. A backyard campout with families in summer can offer a relaxed space for children and adults alike to bond, sharing stories and laughter under a shared sky.
So, while the image of an adult piled onto a sleeping bag might seem silly at first glance, there’s something profoundly powerful about reclaiming this simple ritual. It’s about prioritizing genuine connection, embracing vulnerability, and saying yes to the comforting familiarity of being present with loved ones in a space where time melts away, leaving behind the residue of shared laughter, whispered secrets, and quiet, easy companionship.
